I am a full-time student, with a stressful part-time job, and although I have been feverishly searching for love for awhile, it just recently dawned on me that I may not have time in my life for a real relationship. My dance card may not be full, but my social calendar is packed with various commitments: My day planner is riddled with lunch dates, dinner dates, movie dates AND the most important dates of all… due dates.
I am striving for a really competitive GPA this semester, and in order to attain it I have to strike a delicate balance between completing assignments and maintaining a healthy dose of social stimulation — I need to have some semblance of a social life, if only to remain sane. I also recently decided that I wasn’t busy enough, nor thin enough, so I have added a strict workout regimen just to keep things interesting. Needless to say, there may not be enough ROOM in my life for a man. I don’t think I have the time, patience or energy to strike up a relationship with someone new. And I really don’t think it is a good idea to recycle relationships OR casual hookups, so I actually had the thought yesterday that maybe I’m single because I’m busy, occupied, engaged, involved, immersed, absorbed and/or just plain up to my neck with other things?
Obviously, if I want something enough I will make room for it in my life, but are there things that I am willing to give up in order to allow time and energy for a relationship? At this point, I am honestly not sure. When I imagine myself in a relationship (usually with someone tall, dark, incredibly handsome AND smart… no pressure there) I imagine it as if we have been together FOREVER. I fast forward through all the getting-to-know-each-other, being occasionally-awkward-around-each-other bullshit and get straight to the good stuff — the comfortable, totally in love with each other, never want to be apart because we are so in LOVE kind of situation. This is unfair to myself, and to the guy who is going to be with me because it sets these expectations that they will probably NEVER meet, leaving us both disappointed and heartbroken.
In order for me to find a man I need to a) make room in my busy busy life, and b) rearrange my expectations in order to make them more realistic. I can’t troll around the city looking for an insta-relationship; my expectations need to be managed and my mind needs to be opened to the other possibilites that exist outside my limited sphere of experience.