Maybe there is room for only one serious relationship in my life.
There really aren’t enough words to describe the relationship I have with my BFF. She has stood by me during thick & thin — both figuratively and literally — and we have forged a pretty crazy, loving, unbreakable bond that most people find impossible to understand. We pick each other up when we are down; we lean on each other when we need a little (or a LOT) of support. She has stood by me through so much shit (February 2010, anyone?), and has had my back when no one else could, or would. She’s held my hand, wiped tears from my face, and even blown my nose for me. We fight once every never, and when we do it’s for five seconds and then we’re over it.
No one else on the planet puts up with me like she does. Not even my own mother.
We have been through two harsh break-ups (both hers), a major emotional meltdown (that was ALL me: I went through therapy though, it’s all good now), the death of a beloved pet and even more beloved Grandpa, and so much other shit I can’t even think of it all at once; my neo-cortex can’t handle it.
We’re both 23 years-old, but we still have sleep overs…
…Often. We also orchestrate the occasional shadow-puppet show; fuck with strangers on the reg’; have random dance parties in her bedroom; spend a LOT of time perfecting various duets from famous musicals (we do a GREAT rendition of “Defying Gravity:” Wicked for the win!); and occasionally I let her punch me in order for her to get some aggression out… I’m generally wearing padding when this happens, and I’m also usually drunk.
We finish each other’s sentences — when we can in fact manage to form sentences — but even when she totally garbles her words I know EXACTLY what she means. And vice versa. She knows me better than I sometimes know myself, which is both admirable and frustrating. We spend so much time together it is actually ridiculous, and the other day it occurred to me that maybe because I am unnaturally, oddly, freakishly, exceptionally, abnormally, unusually, strangely, and possibly even a bit unorthodoxly close to my best friend, I just don’t have the time/space for a man in my life.
I would do anything for my BFF, and I do. One time I even bought pants for her. We always joke that I am her personal assistant, because I keep her social calendar memorized, drive her around, do her hair, and just take care of her in general. & she would do anything for me back, and, boy, does she. She is my family: she takes care of me; socializes me; checks me when I am being an asshole-know-it-all-bitch; and loves me unconditionally. And I think men find our relationship intimidating because it is SO concrete. It’s like Stonehenge: we don’t know how it got there, but we know it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
I know I could squeeze the right man into my life, because there is always room for one more. But, that man has to have room in his life for my BFF too: we’re a package deal.