So, I have officially decided that there is nothing specifically “wrong” with me: there is not a tangible reason that I remain alone. I think that it is far more likely that the root of my single woes is a little more abstract… Perhaps I am just unlucky? I am unlucky in love… Unable to find a suitable mate not because of my physical, emotional, or otherwise faults in my personality but because the universe just refuses to let my stars align.
There is a force outside the earthly realm that wants me to remain single… FOREVER. It’s not me: my love life is jinxed, ill-fated, cursed, misfortunate & just all together unlucky.
For example: recently I have been actively pursuing a male member of the human species. I met up with him, we exchanged contact info, & he eventually made contact with me. I felt like we had a connection – as lame as that might sound. Long story short, this dude turns out to have recently got back together with his girlfriend with whom he had broken up with shortly before we crossed paths.
Talk about a bummer.
The worst part of it is… He is actually a really decent guy. Kind of. Of course, he did spend three consecutive days talking to me about nothing – a sure sign of romantic interest according to my BFF – before he thought to mention the minutely important fact that he is now in a RELATIONSHIP, but other than that slightly shady display he seems to be fairly solid. Obviously the fact that he took the steps to let me down easy shows that he not only has respect for his average-looking girlfriend, but also that he has respect for me.
He made the active choice not to lead me on – & he even said he felt “bad” about potentially leading me on after. So, despite what one of my really good girlfriends seems to think (she refers to him as a loser, a reject, and tells me he was never good enough for me regularly) I still believe he has more than just a little bit of human decency going on.
But he was DEFINITELY interested at one point. Interested enough to give me his number (twice!) and interested enough to respond regularly to my advances.
Of course, now that he is back together with his girl, he has deleted me off Facebook, & probably deleted me out of his phone – most likely at the behest of said girlfriend – we are obviously not going to be together. & it has nothing to do with me; it’s the situation that I was thrust into.
A situation where the odds are blatantly stacked against me, & I have no hope in hell of getting what I want… (& believe me, there was a lot that I wanted.)
If that’s not bad luck… I don’t know what is.