44. Maybe it’s because I’m insecure.


I’m not feeling the self-love lately, to be honest. I’ve been stressin’ hardcore over my appearance, and my lifestyle… and my lack of a healthy love life, among other things.

I think it’s rather tough, being me, you see. Especially when I compare myself to other people in my life — ugh, they all have it SO easy. Nobody I know has anything to complain about — not like me. I’m majorly bummed about the current situation that is my life… & I am having issues looking on the bright side of ANYTHING at the moment.

Everybody is allowed to have down days, and down weeks, and even a down month if they so choose. But what I am slowly beginning to realize is that letting my insecurities and present unhappiness shine through doesn’t breed the perfect environment for finding someone who wants to be with me.

Previously — & occasionally presently — I have held the notion that men are only interested in women who are model-like: gorgeous & tall, with legs up to their arm pits, and the body of a Greek goddess. Unfortunately, & probably NOT surprisingly, I don’t fill these requirements. NOW, I am by no means UGLY or FAT; I can in fact be rather striking (thanks BFF) in my own way if I so desire. BUT, because I am not the model-esque Greek goddess I used to assume men want, I convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough (looks-wise at least) to be with a man who had any merit.

Now, am I alone because I am not gorgeous, beautiful, dazzling, and stunning, with a body that takes men’s breath away & legs that appear to stretch on for miles?

No. That’s not why.

This is obvious bullshit. & if it isn’t obvious bullshit to you… Trust me, you need to change your perspective on life.

Men are visual creatures, of course, so looks DO matter. I am not saying they don’t effect a woman’s chances of getting noticed. HOWEVER, it’s not about being the MOST beautiful, or the MOST in-shape, with the LONGEST legs, and THICKEST hair. It’s about taking care of yourself, caring about your appearance, and most importantly, having at least a semblance of confidence.

Dudes want girls with confidence. They want girls who are comfortable with themselves. If I appear to be insecure, unconfident, unsure, mousy, fearful & anxious… Why would a guy want to mess with that?

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

But, BUT, not everyone is okay with themselves, all the time. Most people are actually pretty rattled by their appearance & personality a good portion of the time.

But, guess what, even if you don’t totally, 100 percent LOVE yourself.. You can fake it.

Fake it ’til you make it — rather, fake it ’til you BECOME it.

THAT, my friends, is the secret to stumbling upon a great man, & forming a great relationship.

Now… If only I can take my own advice.


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