84. Maybe it’s my perspective.

I have had some really wacky things happen to me lately.

I can’t pinpoint when it all started, but I’ve been noticing strange little things (& some strange big things) occuring.

It’s not anything bad… but it’s not exactly good, either. It’s kind of just… weird.

Weirdly positive. I don’t know — I just got to reflecting yesterday & there seems to be something strange going on.

I think it all started when I got t-boned by a cyclist… & just kind of escalated from there.

(We were both fine, by the way).

Shortly after that was when I started seriously taking care of myself — healthy eating, running, avoiding lactose (for the most part). Not so weird sounding until you take into account how lazy and, well, unmotivated (& addicted to icecream) I have been traditionally (my BFF can vouch for that… I spent a lot of time “stretching” at the gym if you know what I mean). I had a near-life experience — I guess — & since then all I’ve wanted to do is run & do stairs & eat the appropriate amount of food every day.

Weirder still… I don’t want to lose weight. Or fit into my skinny jeans… I just want to feel better. Stronger. Faster. Fitter.

So, that’s happening… & I am feeling good about it. Then, the other day, I lost something fairly valuable. Not something crazy expensive, or incredibly sentimental… Just something that when misplaced creates unnecessary cost & inconvenience.

Normally, losing stuff would send me into a panic attack, complete with a  full set of inconsolable tears… but I just brushed it off. I took a quick peek, couldn’t find it, & got on with my life. I thought: if it turns up it turns up… If not, well, that’s life. Things go missing; the world keeps turning.

& you know what… it turned up. A week later, I was grabbing something from my car… Looked down & whoop: there it was.

Weird, right?

Wait — it gets weirder.

A couple nights ago an errant cyclist actually apologized to me (an absolute miracle on Edmonton city streets) & yesterday I accidentally came across my spirit guide when I fell ass over tea kettle running up a muddy hill.

I was struggling hard to make it to the top — gravity is a fickle bitch — when my spandex-clad spirit guide stumbled upon me.

He bestowed upon me this nugget of wisdom: “the worst is behind me”. Confused? I was too. I asked him for clarification (twice) but all he did was repeat himself (twice) & after I mumbled a disgruntled thanks, he carried on his merry way.

I mean, I was hoping for more paper towel & less philosophical mumbo-jumbo, but as I was attempting to wipe the clumps of mud stubbornly clinging to my hands off on the cleanest grass I could find (my apologies to Highland Golf Course), I found myself pondering what my spirit guide had told me.

Instead of thinking of that particular hill, I thought of my entire life as a hill. Because it is (& it’s a pretty steep one) & I struggled to climb up it this past year. I reviewed all the garbage I’ve dealt with this year (it’s been tough) & thought about how despite everything… I am okay. I made it through. I persevered.

The worst is behind me.

So, I don’t think that these things happening to me are that weird… I think it’s just that I’m looking at them differently. I’m the one who’s weird — in a good way. My perspective has changed: challenges don’t phase me the same way they used to. I’m coming at my life from a different angle, & it has made me happier, healthier, stronger (physically & emotionally… I have muscles now, & I haven’t burst into tears unnecessarily in a couple weeks. It’s weird) & I just feel lighter.

Thanks spandex-clad spirit man for pointing out to me what I already kind of knew. The worst is behind me, which means the best is in front of me — if I want it to be.  

 

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