102. Maybe it’s because it’s just not in the cards.

I got my cards read last weekend.

It was quite the experience — I actually really enjoyed it. Now, I don’t know how familiar y’all are with tarot, but it’s not fortune-telling. She (my reader) was very clear on that. The cards don’t predict the future: they are not going to tell you if you’re going to die young and they cannot accurately predict the winning lottery numbers. But they will pick up on trends in your life, & more than anything they’re just supposed to help you figure yourself out — they give you the tools to answer your own questions. This was an aspect of tarot that I was particularly interested in, considering how obsessed I am with finding ways to organize my life.

Plus, it just seemed like a really cool way to spend a Saturday night.

It started off really well. I was dealt (?) four “major” cards: Strength, the Magician (my favourite), Justice, & the Devil (not-so-much my favourite). She was spot on for a lot of the reading: she mentioned how I had been working hard for the last few years, & told me that I was reliable. She said this reliability would be what helps me gain success in my career. She continued with the reading, telling me that recently people have started to look up to me, yadda yadda yadda, I’m great, whatever. A major theme of success emerged that I was digging, but then she got to the Devil. It was my last card, & she told me it worried her.

That’s exactly what you want to hear from someone doing your tarot reading — not.

She said that this card could symbolize a couple things. It might mean an addiction, but she thought that for me this was unlikely. Instead, it probably meant that my success would alienate me from other people & result in jealousy & resentment.

Lucky me.

We made eye contact after she dropped this bomb — it was intense. But then she just kind of snapped out it, & asked me in a more jovial tone if I had any questions.

Me being me, I seized the opportunity to ask if she could see any romantic trends in my life.

“I’ve got to be honest with you,” she told me. She looked down at my cards, & kind of shook her head a bit. “I don’t see any romance in your future.”

Bummer.

She went on to qualify this particular reading: she told me that things could always change, & that none of this was set in stone. I appreciated her efforts to make me feel better, but they didn’t really help. It’s comforting to know that the trends in my life are career positive — I’m anxious to get my professional life started, & I can’t wait to be some kind of successful — but I had hoped that there was at least some glimmer of love on the horizon, you know?

Just like that, our time was up.

As I made my exit, I thought about how in my attempt to hone my craft & make a name for myself as a writer, I may be shutting out opportunities for romance. But I think that that’s okay: I don’t want to sacrifice my career for any man, & if I do turn out to be a spinster, well, at least I’ll be a well-educated, successful one.

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4 thoughts on “102. Maybe it’s because it’s just not in the cards.

  1. I mean, maybe it’s just because I’m an eternal skeptic, but the reading seems like a lot of vague fluff intended to make you feel good, but then scare you enough that you don’t think it’s all just positive crap.

    • Scott, I totally understand what you’re saying. BUT, at the same time, I just wish she had told me there was a flicker of romance at some point in the future, & I found it interesting that she didn’t try to bullshit me into thinking someone tall, dark, handsome, blah blah blah was going to wander into my life… just because I asked about it, & was obviously hoping for there to be something like that in my future. It’s kind of cool how she picked up on how career-focused & alone I am based just on my body language. In saying that though, I am not really giving much credence to the reading — it was more for a fun night with my ladies than anything.

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