119. Maybe it’s because I’m a perfectionist.

I’ve been running a little highstrung lately–but what else is new? I can’t even remember the last time I felt relaxed: between school, work, & my poor attempt at having a social life, I haven’t had a lot of down time.

& now I have the added stress of researching, applying for, & actually landing a summer internship.

It’s a lot for me to handle.

I know, I know. I’m catastrophizing–my life isn’t that bad, or that stressful, or that crazy right now. If I were on the outside looking in, I would probably think that I had it made. I mean, I’ve got a job, I’ve got friends, I’m getting an education… objectively, life is good.

But, being that I am a perfectionist, I am always striving to improve, to be better–to be the best. I am constantly in a state of never feeling good enough, I hold myself to this unrealistic standard, I torture myself into creating the highest quality work I can possibly produce, & although this pushes me to elevevate everything I do to the next level, it is also exhausting. 

Which is probably why I will be alone forever… If I can’t meet my own standards, why would some guy even want to try?

Anyway–back to this internship situation: I can’t just settle for any old summer job. I don’t want an internship… I want the internship.

So, the search is on. I’m dusting off my research skills (& begging multiple professors) to see what kind of kick ass internship I can track down… wish me luck, readers!

ps. if anyone out there on the world wide internet is interested in an intern, let me know!

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