A friend commented earlier this week that she has absolutely no idea why I’m single.
“You’re just so funny!” She said, to which I replied:
“I know. I’m great. I just don’t get it.”
At the time it was nothing more than a flippant comment, but looking back now it makes me wonder. I mean, I don’t really think there is anything terribly wrong with me (despite the long list of possible problems here). I mean, I’ve got my flaws–don’t we all?–but overall I’m really not that bad. I actually am pretty great… maybe even too great.
I rarely get the chance to pump my own tires on this thing & I think it would be a nice change, so let’s just talk about how awesome I am for once.
I’ll start with the basics: I have a job, which is good. I have friends–also good. I know how to drive & I even have a car. I am educated, attractive, kind, & healthy (as far as I know). I’m patient (unless I’m hungry) & I am not high-maintenance (although my Instagram may suggest otherwise–don’t believe everything you see on the internet, folks).
Now, let’s get into the nitty-gritty. The really important shit: I am soft, but firm–physically & emotionally–like a perfectly ripe plum. I know how to use a semicolon & favour the oxford comma, & I read books that aren’t Twilight or its sexy alter ego 50 Shades of Grey. I have a sense of humour, I love documentaries, & I enjoy long walks in the River Valley. I own a lava lamp, which is equal parts relaxing & fun–just like me! Oh, & I also know how to use Microsoft Office products which is a bonus in any situation, really.
I am not damaged goods–I might be the complete opposite. & maybe that’s why nobody wants to be with me–I can imagine the thought of dating somebody as fantastic as me can seem pretty overwhelming.
So, to all the guys out there: please don’t be intimidated. I am human, just like you! & I’m honestly not that great once you really get to know me, anyway.