I was out for dinner with a couple of friends the other night & the topic of relationships came up (as it oftentimes does when I’m around–occupational hazard).
We were discussing our relationships (or lack thereof) when our server wandered over & chimed in. “All of my roommates have boyfriends that they met on Tinder,” she said.
I was surprised, but then my friend at the table reminded me of how her best friend is currently seeing a guy she met through the dating app, & my other friend commented on how he knows a couple that met via another vein of social media: the popular photosharing app, Instagram.
They’ve been married, he informed me, for 4 years.
Maybe I’m going about this all wrong: I’ve been trying to meet a man the old-fashioned way. You know? I’m thinking that I’ll run into a guy while I’m grocery shopping–we’ll make eye contact over a crate of day-old hamburger buns–or maybe I’ll meet a dude on one of my many trips to the river valley–he’ll be walking his adorable golden retriever & I’ll be walking my adorable self–but the reality is that’s not how life works anymore. It’s 2015, Tinder has taken off, & I need to get with the program (apparently).
Relationships just don’t happen as organically as they used to, I guess. This makes me a little bit disappointed because I find apps like Tinder to be a forceful & kind of a gross way to meet people. Not only that, but it takes a lot of effort to wade through the way-too-forward & misogynist overatures to finally get to a guy that actually gives a shit about the female form on the other end of the line… & I just don’t have the time for that right now.
All I really want is to meet a guy & enjoy the migration from friends to, you know, more-than-friends, to will-you-be-my-girlfriend? territory. I don’t want guys bending over backwards, opening doors & chivalrously throwing coats over puddles–I’m not quite that archaic &, I mean, feminism is still a thing–but I do want some of the mystery from a blooming relationship that I think the advent of social-media-based dating practices route around.
I don’t want to see a picture of a guy shirtless before I even know his last name. I want to experience the natural joy of getting to know a person–I just want to date the good, old-fashioned way.