135. Maybe it’s because I’m old-fashioned?

I was out for dinner with a couple of friends the other night & the topic of relationships came up (as it oftentimes does when I’m around–occupational hazard).

We were discussing our relationships (or lack thereof) when our server wandered over & chimed in. “All of my roommates have boyfriends that they met on Tinder,” she said.

I was surprised, but then my friend at the table reminded me of how her best friend is currently seeing a guy she met through the dating app, & my other friend commented on how he knows a couple that met via another vein of social media: the popular photosharing app, Instagram.

They’ve been married, he informed me, for 4 years.

What?!

Maybe I’m going about this all wrong: I’ve been trying to meet a man the old-fashioned way. You know? I’m thinking that I’ll run into a guy while I’m grocery shopping–we’ll make eye contact over a crate of day-old hamburger buns–or maybe I’ll meet a dude on one of my many trips to the river valley–he’ll be walking his adorable golden retriever & I’ll be walking my adorable self–but the reality is that’s not how life works anymore. It’s 2015, Tinder has taken off, & I need to get with the program (apparently).

Relationships just don’t happen as organically as they used to, I guess. This makes me a little bit disappointed because I find apps like Tinder to be a forceful & kind of a gross way to meet people. Not only that, but it takes a lot of effort to wade through the way-too-forward & misogynist overatures to finally get to a guy that actually gives a shit about the female form on the other end of the line… & I just don’t have the time for that right now.

All I really want is to meet a guy & enjoy the migration from friends to, you know, more-than-friends, to will-you-be-my-girlfriend? territory. I don’t want guys bending over backwards, opening doors & chivalrously throwing coats over puddles–I’m not quite that archaic &, I mean, feminism is still a thing–but I do want some of the mystery from a blooming relationship that I think the advent of social-media-based dating practices route around.

I don’t want to see a picture of a guy shirtless before I even know his last name. I want to experience the natural joy of getting to know a person–I just want to date the good, old-fashioned way.

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2 thoughts on “135. Maybe it’s because I’m old-fashioned?

  1. tinder seems disgusting to me too! and online dating seems to give both men and women this sort of “shopping” mentality, but it is so hard to meet people in person…i met my boyfriend online, but this was way before tinder. Blugh!

  2. You said: [I’m not quite that archaic &, I mean, feminism is still a thing–but I do want some of the mystery from a blooming relationship that I think the advent of social-media-based dating practices route around.]

    Yea….good luck with that. I don’t think men of this generation understand how to be men anymore. For that matter, I don’t think women of this generation understand how to be a woman anymore either. Thank you, feminism, for the conflicting messages.

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