I had the pleasure of talking with my gran the other day. It had been far too long since I’d spoken with her, so we were catching up on every single thing in my life–work, school, men, the usual.
“So, do you have a boyfriend?” She asked me, her lilting accent cradled each word. Unlike all the other people in my life who hound me about my lack of significant other, it wasn’t a judgemental query but a legitimately curious one. My grandma doesn’t get to see me all the time, or talk to me about my life & the people in it on a regular basis. So I know that she doesn’t have an ulterior motive when she asks these things… She really just wants to know. She wants to know if I’m seeing anybody, & if that person makes me happy.
“No, no, not really,” I replied (which is really more of a no, not at all), “But it’s not for lack of trying.” I laughed & so did she, before telling me that I’m smart to not have a man right now, & informing me that it’s good to focus on my education & fledgling career. She told me that I have plenty of time to meet somebody, & that I shouldn’t worry about rushing into anything–I’ve got enough on my plate right now. Which is true, when I think about it. It’s impossible to do everything at once, & I’ve got to prioritize the things that matter most to me. I’ve got to think about what makes me happy right now, & what will make me happy in the future… those are what’s important.
To be honest, when I really think about it, meeting a man just isn’t that high up on my current to-do list.
& I’m actually pretty okay with that. It’s not that relationships aren’t important, or that I am resigned to the lifestyle of an over-educated spinster, or that I don’t ever want to be happily in love… it’s just, for now, the person who makes me happiest is me, myself, & I.