140. Maybe it’s because I’m STILL, still unnaturally close with my BFF?

It’s been almost 2 years since my BFF dropped everything & made the trans-Canada trek to Toronto.

& I miss her–I miss her so much. There isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t pop into my head. Even if I don’t talk to her for a day, or a week, or a month (we get busy sometimes, & that’s okay), there’s always something that happens that reminds me of her. A song comes on (“She’s Dope”, perhaps?), or something ridiculous will happen (I embarrass myself at least once a day & these moments usually make me think of her–no reason), or maybe I’ll be searching for a shirt that I forgot I lent her & she “forgot” to give back (just kidding–I know I officially gave it to her).

I like these moments–the moments where I pause my life to reflect on the awesome (& occasionally not-so-awesome) times her & I have had the good fortune of sharing. We’ve had the most amazing experiences: trips to Hawaii & Jamaica (the first time I ever saw the ocean was with her by my side), seeing my favourite band in concert, buying ridiculously expensive shoes (worth every penny), countless nights out that I can’t really remember but I know were fun (I mean, I wanna say they were… fun?)… & all the time spent just watching Friends or Lost (remember when Kate got shot? I know my BFF does) or playing Brickbreaker on my crappy Blackberry in bed.

The best times with my BFF were the times we just did nothing together–it’s so rare to find another person who you can just sit & be around. The days where we’d sit in her backyard & talk for hours about everything & anything, or the nights spent driving aimlessly (& sometimes not-so-aimlessly) around, singing duets & drinking steeped tea & smoking menthols like they were a limited resource… those are what I miss the most.

We’ve known each other now for almost 7 years (a third of which have been spent across the country from each other) & our friendship is more rock solid than it’s ever been. There’s a certain comfort in being able to call her up & tell her anything & know that I don’t have to explain, or justify, or exaggerate–that she will take me just as I am (unless I’m being an asshole, in which case she will check me on my shit every single time, & rightfully so). There’s an unconditional bond that transcends time or distance: I am so grateful to have her in my life, even if she has to be thousands of kilometres away. Because the distance doesn’t exist when I pick up the phone & hear her voice. We have these conversations where it’s like she never left–except she did, & I know she did because the growth that we’ve both experienced in the last two years has been amazing. She’s established herself in Toronto & is well on her way to being a successful artist in the musical theatre world–& I’m doing not so bad myself, if I do say so. I am so proud of her & I know she’s proud of me back–we grew up, but we never grew apart.

My BFF is still a very real part of my life–everybody knows who she is & even my friends here who haven’t met her feel like they know her because… to know me is to know her. She is my confidante, my best friend, my only phone call. She is my person. There are pieces of her weaved through me; there are things about myself that would be incomplete without having known her.

Me & my BFF in Hawaii, circa 2010

Me & my BFF in Hawaii, circa 2010


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