I wish I had something more to say this week, but the truth is that starting back at school coupled with some sort of super virus invading my immune system has knocked me on my ass & I just couldn’t get it together enough to write anything.
Truthfully, I’ve been a phlegmy, dramatic mess of used tissues & snot, & my neck hurts from driving all the way across the country (twice), & I can’t seem to do anything right lately according to, well, me. So it’s been a struggle to get anything onto paper because all I want to do is delete, scratch out, & irreversibly maim everything I’ve written & crawl into bed & sleep for the rest of my life.
I’ve had writer’s block before, but this is like writer’s barricade. It’s the Berlin Wall of blocks. There’s an Iron Curtain around my brain & it’s just making my life miserable.
I know that it’s a bad combination of being sick & being stressed, but everything feels so hard right now. & yeah, I don’t want it to be easy… but I also don’t want to feel like each word is the difference between success & failure.
In other words, I’ve been too busy complaining & feeling bad about myself to figure out why I’m single this week, although… given my overall mood & the rate at which I’m expelling bodily fluids via my nostrils, I can’t say it’s that big of a mystery as to why I’ve been going home alone.