156. Maybe it’s because I’m financially irresponsible…

I don’t want to say that I am unaware of the value of a dollar, but I’m a touch on the fiscally irresponsible side.

I should never have been trusted with a credit card (or three).

Yikes.

I don’t know what it is, whether it was my financially-repressed upbringing, or my shopaholic genetics (here’s lookin’ at you, Ma), or my insatiable sense of style but I love to shop. I love it. It’s one of my hobbies–it might be my only hobby, actually. & it’s great to window shop, & you know, wander through boutiques touching, feeling, trying on, not buying. But, most times, that’s not enough. There’s a thrill that I get from purchasing something new that’s rivalled only by purchasing something new on sale. 

Buying things feels like coming home. I’m always thinking about how my wardrobe is growing, changing, evolving. & what holes I need to fill, what things I need to buy. There’s never wants when it comes to shopping. Only needs.

need thigh high boots. I need a navy crewneck. I need need need it all. Everything. Now.

I know department stores better than I know some of my own family members. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of Aritzia’s stock. I can tell you more about Lululemon’s product than most of the people who work there can.

I just love things. I love buying things, bringing them home, & introducing them to the family (also known as the rest of my wardrobe). Yeah, I know… I’m the poster child for capitalism. But–it costs money. Money that I don’t have, but choose to spend anyway. Therein lies the problem.

I am the least financially responsible person I know. I am crippled by student debt & yet still choose to spend, spend, spend on things I can’t afford & shouldn’t want. It’s not good. & it’s definitely a strike against me in the girlfriend material department. Not only am I a bonafide hoarder, but I’m also broke because of it.

Being poor isn’t cute. I’ve shovelled myself in & out of debt enough times to know that. I mean, it’s adorable in the movies (ala Cinderella, Pretty Woman, etc. etc.) but not in real life.

Money is a major source of tension in relationships. & that tension usually arises when there’s not enough of it–I’ve got to get my spending under control. No man wants a girl who chooses Gucci over groceries.

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