161. Maybe it’s because dating is hard.

I’ve been out of the dating game for a while now (it’s been a bit since my last foray into the world of weeknight drinks & dining dutch) & I think I’ve forgotten how it all works.

I don’t know how to date–anymore. Things used to seem simple–holding hands, eating icecream, making out in the backseat of his mom’s SUV. But now there’s so much more at stake when searching for a potential life partner. Because, that’s the thing, once you hit a certain age dating has to get serious. A boy is no longer some guy who’s going to buy me flowers & take me out on a Friday night, he’s a potential future other half.

That’s a lot of pressure. & I don’t know how to handle it. I’m already socially awkward most of the time–one-on-one interactions with the opposite sex take it to a whole new level, though. I want to be chill–but not too chill, because I need him to know I don’t hate his fucking guts. But I can’t be too overbearing either (I’m no expert but even I know that planning the wedding on date number 1 is a no-no). & god forbid I actually be myself.

Ugh.

Dates are like traps, if you ask me. No matter what you do there’s potential to fuck everything up & then you can kiss your future with Mr. Right goodbye (if he was, in fact, Mr. Right).

Dating as an adult sucks the fun out of the whole experience. Seriously, the older you get the harder it is. You’re no longer focusing on getting to know a person because you have to think about grown-up things like his educational background and career choice. Does he own a home? Does he want to own a home? How about kids–does he want to own a couple of those, too? Are you guys compatible on an intellectual level? It’s hard enough finding somebody I like, much less someone I like who likes me back, & now I have to find someone I like who likes me back who I can stand for more than 15 minute intervals & who shares the same moral, ethical, & other values as me.

It’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting. & it just seems way too fucking hard.

Sometimes I wish I could skip out on the whole courting business & scoot right into a longterm relationship. There just seems to be way too many factors involved in finding a mate & I don’t have the time or the energy to deal with it right now. So, if anybody knows of any way that I can fast track my love life… that’d be just great.

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